Potter and His Foolish Ways
by Quidditch Is Cooler Than You
Summary: James wants Lily. Badly. So he tries to change and be the man Lily wants him to be. All the while, Lily is falling for James. For the man who he really is. "James, James, James. Merlin, help me. I think I like Potter."
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own HP.  
**

Lily Evans was lying down on the Quidditch pitch, looking up at the vast starry sky above her, when she heard quiet movement on the grass beside her. "Hi," said a voice, impossible for her _not_ to recognize. "What are you doing here at midnight?"

The redhead was mellow tonight, so she responded to James Potter like any other normal girl. Scratch that, like a nice Lily Evans. "Just thinking," she turned to him and looked at his hazel eyes. "What are _you_ doing here at midnight?" Lily repeated the question directed to her.

"I was just wondering--" James suddenly looked nervous. His eyes went wide and began to twitch. "I'll just go to bed now, I'm getting kind of tired. Night, Evans." He started to walk away from the Quidditch pitch when he heard Lily whisper something he didn't catch. He shrugged it off and headed back to the boys' dormitory.

Lily stared after James. _James, James, James. Merlin, help me. I think I like Potter. Have the demons got me and possessed me into a Potter fan? _Lily thought and began to feel nervous because of it. She absolutely hated Potter! He did things that might just be enough for Lily to strangle him. And worse enough, she said she hated his guts. Daily. Out loud. Loud enough for the other houses to hear when Potter asks her out. Everyday. Him and his 'Marauder' friends, as they like to call themselves never seem to fail on devoting a plan that might make Lily say yes.

Lily decided she'd had enough of Potter and his foolish ways. _That was probably one of their ridiculous plans to make me go out with him. Well too bad. He finally met a girl that he couldn't impress. Lily Evans, you will never go out with James Potter. Why? Because he's an arrogant toe-rag, egotistical douche bag, and-- wait a minute... JAMES POTTER DID NOT ASK ME OUT TODAY. _

"JAMES POTTER DID NOT ASK ME OUT TODAY!" Lily shouted across the Quidditch pitch. Then she felt an unexpected urge to ask James Potter why he didn't. She wanted to punch him in the face, actually. Lily did not know why she felt this way, so she settled to be stubborn and try to ignore the fact that the boy who has been in love with her for years and has asked her out for one date everyday hadn't bothered to say the words "Will you go out with me, Lily-Bobilly?" today. So she sat up and walked back the girls' dormitory.

"_Lily-Bobilly, my sweet pumpkin--"_

"_I'm not a pumpkin."_

_James blinked and rephrased his sentence. "Lily-Bobilly, my sweet bumblebee--"_

"_I'm not a bumblebee."_

_James blinked. Again. Then tried to rephrase his second sentence. "Lily-Bobilly, my sweet wife--"_

"_I'm not your wife!" _

_James grinned and kissed me. He kept a strong hold behind my neck with right hand and his left hand gripped my waist._

_And I kissed him back._

Lily opened her eyes and looked around the room, making sure Potter wasn't in the same room as her. _Blimey, what a dream. What's gotten to you, Lily? Me kissing Potter? Pathetic. Although he was acting fairly normal earlier. Odd. _

Lily drifted off to sleep after too much thought on James.

-Next morning........

"Morning, mate." Sirius greets James after he sat at their table in the Great Hall.

James looks tired, with red, puffy, blotchy eyes. "Morning, Pad."

Sirius looked at his friend and examined him carefully. "Prongs? Have you been... you know... crying?"

James shook his head at a fast rate and rubs his hands in his eyes. "What? No, no... it's just the... dust,"

"You have."

"Have not."

"Did so."

"Nuh uh."

"Yes, you did. Times infinity!"

"It's the dust!"

"Don't care! You lost. I said infinity! Mwa ha."

"Okay, I did."

"Knew it."

James threw his head down the table, making a loud sound enough to wake up the grumpy first years. "Padfoot! If I wanted her to say yes to me for one date, I'd have to change personalities, right?"

Sirius looked confused but went on with his sad best friend. "Yes, you would have to."

James threw his hands up the air and balled his fists, raising them to the ceiling forwards and backwards. "BUT THAT WOULND'T BE THE JAMES POTTER THAT EVERONE KNEW, WOULD IT? I WOULDN'T BE THE JAMES POTTER THAT _I_ KNEW!!!"

Sirius sighed and patted him on the back. "Prongs, I hate to say this but, I really don't think Evans is worth this. She's making you go crazy, mate. And not in a good way. If she was really interested in you she wouldn't make you struggle like this. She wouldn't want you to change. Just like you said, if you changed for her, that wouldn't be you. James Potter, do you understand me? She. is. Not. Worth. it."

James nodded at Sirius' point then started to shake his head again. "No, no, no. Lily _is _worth it. I know it, Padfoot. Just that she doesn't know it yet. I don't care if it takes me ten years to change. I will."

Sirius didn't respond. He just drank his pumpkin juice, thinking it might keep his mouth busy and not argue with his best friend. "I guess you shouldn't give up now, after all those years. But I still say you should start dating other girls. You know Mary MacDonald? I heard she goes all the way. Oh geez. _I_ should date her. But I'll hook you two up, see how it goes."

"But but but but but..." James tried to argue, but Sirius simply shook his head and looked up the ceiling.

"Prongs, trust me. She'll do you good. Heck, _any _girl will do you good. Now, let's get you ready for a little prank with the Marauders. McGonagall will flip at this one." Sirius grinned, thinking of how they could pull a prank together with a simple jar of peanut butter and a hairbrush.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Soooo sorry about the late update! Took me a really long time to write about the second chap. I am so so very grateful with the reviews I got. And for the others who choose to put me on author alert or story alert, I would reallyyy appreciate it if you reviewed my story and tell me suggestions. That's it! Thanks, chaps! Read on, read on! POWER TO THE PEEPOLLLLLL!**

**D****isclaimer: I do not own HP. **

"So, Mary, this is James Potter. James, this is Mary MacDonald, fine, fine Mary MacDonald," Sirius winked at Mary. James caught his act and smacked his best friend's head.

"_I'm_ going on a date with her, idiot."

Mary raised her eyebrows and said, "_We're _going on a date? Normally it's common courtesy to ask." She grinned a little to show that she didn't mind going on a date with him at all.

Sirius clapped his hands and said, "It's settled! You guys are going to Hogsmeade in about five minutes and will come back in about 24 hours." Sirius winked at Mary for the second time.

James, for the second time, smacked Sirius' head and grabbed Mary's hand. "We're leaving now, Pad. Don't do anything that I would do."

"No problem. I'll be doing something that_ I _would do."

The Date....................

James and Mary walked into Madame Puddifoot's and sat at a table.

James took the Menu and used it to cover his face. _This is so awkward. We have _nothing_ to talk about. I'm not Sirius, we can't just snog the entire time! I wish Lily-Bobilly was here. Oh Lily..._

His mind wandered off into various fantasies about a certain redhead when Mary said, "So..."

James nodded and muttered "So,"

"So... umm... you like Quidditch, right?"

_Wow. This girl isn't the fastest broomstick in the bunch. I'm Quidditch captain for Gryffindor, of course I like the damn sport. Sirius is going to pay for this. James thought. "Uh, yeah. I'm captain of the team."_

Mary suddenly turned red. "Right,"

"_Yeah." He responded, looking away. I repeat: So. Bloody. Awkward. _

She put her hands down the table. "So, what's the deal?" She asked, with raised eyebrows.

He mistakenly thought she was talking about something rather dirty. "I don't know what you've heard about me, but I'm not that sort of guy who does that on the first date. But if you want me to I can talk to Sirius, he likes those kinda stuff..."

Mary laughed and shook her head. "Not talking about _that, _James. I'm talking about how for the past seven years your every thought has been consumed by Lily Evans, and now you're on a date with me? I know you don't like me, and I don't like you that way either. It doesn't seem to add up."

James looked relieved and sighed. "Sorry about that, Mary. I just needed a distraction from Lily. I know that sounds a bit selfish and like I'm using you, and maybe I am, but... I'm stupid, alright?"

She giggled. "Alright, I'll forgive you for using me, if you forgive me for using you."

"What?"

"I like Sirius," Mary smiled. "I kinda figured you could put a good word in for me."

"Ah, we're just a bunch of users, huh?"

"Pretty much," She agreed. "So, why did you suddenly decide to give up on Lily?"

"I didn't exactly give up on her. I mean, I'm trying, but it's _the_ Lily Evans! You can't forget a girl like that, your mind won't let you. She wants me to change, and I don't know if I can. And even if I'm able to, _how _would I do it?"

Mary grinned sheepishly. "I think I know a way."

"Talk to me." James said, smiling at Mary.

They discussed for a while about Mary's plan, when Lily Evans walked in the restaurant.

_What. The. Hell. _Thought James. _She better not be on a date. I will decapitate that boy's head if I have to. I'll cut off his toes too._

Mary saw who James was staring at and let a little shriek of amusement. "Okay, okay. Calm down," She whispered to James, whose inner-freak out was apparent on his face.

"Mary?" Lily said, recognizing her friend. "What are you doing here with _him_? You said you were going on a date?" Brilliant as she was, Lily was still not able to make the connection that Mary _was _supposed to be on a date.

"I _am _on a date," Mary said, glancing at her companion.

"Me too." James said, smirking. "With Mary MacDonald. Maybe you know her?" He asked, his tone completely serious.

"Uh, duh, Potter, she's one of my roommates. I think I would know her after seven years," Lily said, agitated already. She loses her temper so easily when she's talking to James.

"Yet you didn't know her well enough to know that she was going on a date with her," James snapped back, grinning at the furious redhead.

_I'm too late. What the fuck is wrong with you, Lily. He asked you out everyday for the past seven years, and you choose to like him when he starts to move on?! AGGGGGH. I hate me. I'm too late. Lily thought. "Whatever, Potter., go ahead and snog her. And Mary, I figured you were a descent girl who had the brains to actually realize Potter is a douche bag, but I guess I was wrong." I was wrong about a lot of things. I can't believe I let it all go. Lily thought._

James looked shocked and tried to cover it by asking Lily why she was at Madame Puddifoot's,

the place where all couples go to just to get a good snog with each other.

"If you must know, I'm here to get tea for Alice. Now if you'll excuse me," Lily walked away from their table and left Mary and James grinning at each other.

"James, she likes you." said Mary.

"What? Mary, she just called me a douche bag." He defended.

"Oh my god, didn't you feel that jealous vibe from her? She totally wanted to smack me when she saw you with me." She said, smiling.

"Really?" He said, surprised.

"Yup. Now all we have to do is to follow the plan. We tell the world we're the new power couple. The Quidditch captain for Gryffindor and... Mary McDonald are dating, my name is self-explanatory. We date for a while, just enough to drive Lily off the edge. We break up. Lily tries to comfort you, which I'm sure you'll enjoy, then we'll see how it goes after that." She explained.

James nodded and started drumming his fingers on the table, nervously. "What if it doesn't work?"

"Then it doesn't," Mary said without any hesitation. "Look James, it's either you fight for what you've wanted for so many years or walk away knowing that you didn't try."

"Okay. I guess I'll just go with what you tell me to do, cause I have no idea how to do this."

Mary let out a giggle and said, "Don't worry, I'll keep it easy."

"So... what do we do now?" James asked.

"Well we are in Madame Puddifoot's... We could snog if you don't mind." She turned pink and started playing with her hair to avoid eye contact with James.

"Okay."

They leaned in front of each other's lips and Mary's hand gripped James' neck. James made the kiss deeper by slipping his tongue between Mary's lips._ I can't believe I'm actually doing this. Blimey, she's a wonderful kisser. Just imagine Lily, James. Just imagine she's Lily._

Meanwhile the intense snogging with James and Mary, Lily was still in Madame Puddifoot's, sitting alone by herself with a cup of tea that hasn't been touched since James' lips pressed into Mary McDonald's lips. Lily was supposed to leave as soon as she got the tea for Alice but she felt an emotion that she wouldn't accept: Jealousy. To sum it all up, Lily Evans is in denial.

_NO, LILY! NO! NO! NO! I don't know what to do now. Do I just keep everything in or do I him how I feel? And for the record, Lily Evans, YOU ARE _NOT _JEALOUS OF MARY. No! I can't just ruin someone's relationship like that. He and Mary had an extremely deep conversation, or should I say snogging sensation, earlier. I can't believe I'm falling for _James Potter_. James freakin' Potter. I absolutely do not know what do to._

After Madame Puddifoot's.................

"Prongs! Prongs! PUUURRRROOOONNNNGGGGGSSS!!!!" Peter called after James.

"Hey Wormtail," said James.

"How was the date? Oh, and, Moony and Padfoot wanted to talk to you, they're in the common room. I can't really be there since I have detention with McGonagall. Anyways, tell me everything later! Bye!" He said, being extremely cheerful.

"Kay, see ya, mate." James waved goodbye to Peter and headed for the Gryffindor common room.

He reached the Fat Lady's portrait and had asked for the password. "Piggly-Wigglies." James replied.

The portrait opened and inside were Sirius and Remus waiting anxiously with a jar of peanut butter and a hairbrush.

"Prongs! We _have_ to do the prank _now_. We told Peter to get in a little trouble so we could sneak in McGonagall's room and steal her hairbrush. Now all we have to do is dip this thing in the jar and somehow make McGonagall think this hairbrush hasn't been Marauderified and start to brush her hair with it. And we'll put one of Snivellus' stuff by her desk and Snivellus gets the credit to our amazing work of art. Like it?" Sirius said in a hurry. He didn't let James speak an just pulled on James' sleeve.

"I didn't have a chance to run away either," Remus whispered.

James stopped on his tracks and said, "Why don't one of us just get the peanut-butter dipped hairbrush into McGonagall's hair and forget the trouble of sneaking into her room and getting Snivellus in trouble? Well I wouldn't mind _that_ part, but you get the point! And listen, I'm exhausted, so I can't do the hairbrush part."

Sirius shot his hand up and jumped up and down. "Ooh, ooh! I wanna do it, I wanna do it!"

Remus sighed and shook his head. "What a sad, sad boy," He whispered.

"Okay, Padfoot. You get in trouble and we don't. We'll just be there when you need some extra help, kay?" James offered while yawning.

"Mmmkay! Moony, give me the peanut buttaaaaaa," Sirius said dramatically.

Remus rolled his eyes and chucked the jar at Sirius. "Well, I'm gonna go study for the exams. Call us when you need us, Pad." He waved goodbye and walked away.

James waved goodbye too and didn't tell Sirius anything about the date with Mary, or their plan.

The prank......................

_Okay, Sirius. You can do this. Just put the Invisibility Cloak on and stick the hairbrush in McGonagall's hair and RUN!!!! Do NOT look back! Don't even think about MARY! Do NOT SNEEZE. PLEASE, JUST DON'T SNEEZE. Sigh. I can't believe I'm just doing the prank alone. Oh well. Next time, it's the four of us. No exceptions. _

Sirius was getting the jar of peanut butter and McGonagall's hairbrush ready in free period. He put the blue velvet hairbrush in the jar of sticky peanut butter and twisted it until a fistful of peanut butter was stuck on the hairbrush.

He snickered and put the Invisibility cloak on and tip toed to Transfiguration, where coincidentally, Lily, James, Mary, Peter and Remus were in.

Sirius silently opened the door and tried not to laugh while he was tip toeing to where McGonagall was, but he decided to warn James before he did his supposed "brilliant" plan.

Sirius walked over to James' desk where he found the side of his jaw was resting on his hand, looking like he was day dreaming of a certain red head because he was mouthing the word Lily over and over again. Sirius sighed and shook his head once again. _When will you learn, Prongs? When???_

He tapped James' head and when James looked up, alarmed, he did not respond immediately because he was too amused at James' expression when he is interrupted during his fantasies about Lily Evans.

"Hey, Prongs." Sirius whispered.

"Huh? What? Padfoot? Where are you? What are you doing here?" James whispered, hastily.

"I'm using your Invisibility cloak, by the way. And I'm doing the prank, duh!"

"What?! What the hell is wrong with you, Padfoot! Lily's here and if she finds out--" James was meddled by Sirius' hand blocking his mouth.

"You don't like Lily anymore, remember? Mary McDonald is your girlfriend and she actually likes the Marauders unlike Lily. You should appreciate the things I do for you, James. Like hooking you up with a girl like Mary!" Sirius ranted.

The whole class went still and Professor McGonagall was looking straight at James, her eyes full with anger and confusion. She did not like it when her class' attention was not on her lesson plan. "Mr Potter,_ what_ is the matter? Who are you talking to?"

James looked around and scratched his head, a goofy grin painted across his face. "Uh, you see Professor, I was just... role playing. For Transfiguration! Yes, yes, for Transfiguration. I was a Liger and-- oh, you don't know what a Liger is? Oh, it's quite simple--"

He was interrupted by a shriek that came from Professor McGonagall's mouth. There was a hand sticking out of no where holding the handle of a blue velvet hairbrush. It was trying to let go of the brush but McGonagall was gripping the hand's wrist so tightly that the hand was turning quite blue.

"Who ever is doing this, STOP IT NOW OR YOU _WILL _EXPERIENCE A TERRIBLE LIFE LESSON FROM ME!!!" McGonagall threatened.

The hand stopped struggling to let go and let the Invisibility cloak off. Sirius' face was bright red and was just standing there. Giggling. _Giggling._ He run around the room and McGonagall said, "Stop right there, Black!"

Sirius turned around and blinked then smiled. "You didn't see me!!! YOU DIDN'T SEE MEEE!!!! NOPE, YOU DIDN'T! MWA HA HA HA HAHA HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

He ran around the room once more and headed off.

McGonagall just sighed and looked tearful. "Oh my Merlin. What a _sad, _sad boy."


End file.
